Pain from your past is influencing your current circumstances.
In order to free yourself from the burden, you must forgive yourself and those who have caused you pain. Forgiveness does not mean you condone how you were treated. It simply allows you to find inner peace and self-acceptance, so you can move on without restrictions and self-imposed limitations.
Healing old wounds allows you to process, grow, and expand from the experience. Resilience does not come from pushing the pain to the side. It comes from confronting raw emotions and recognizing the contrast and strength they have provided. Stop punishing yourself by avoiding the pain; it is time to heal through forgiveness.